Happy Birthday, and other things

WOW! The girls are 5 months old. I can't believe it was only 5 short months ago that I was calling Rocky on the phone to get to the hospital quick, that the babies were going to be born. Or that we have had them home with us for only 3 months. Time is a really funny thing. Quick in one moment and slow in another. Rocky is missing the girls birthday. He is at Sky Ranch with school until Thursday. I am a single parent. It is not easy, and I am really tired. I will make do. I am constantly saddened and overwhelmed over the last day or so thinking about Audrey Caroline's parents and sisters. Not about Audrey, because she is sitting at Jesus' feet without a care in the world. I grieve for her parents and the emptiness in their arms, and for her sisters who have to wait a lifetime to play with her. Every time I think about her, I pray. I pray for their strength and peace in this situation, and I pray thanksgiving that all of our children are here, under our roof, alive and very well. That is something I really don't take for granted any more. I can still feel the emotions I felt when the girls were 2 days old and we didn't know if Abby would make it. I sat by Isabelle's bed because they were working on Abby and cried - for Abby, for Izzy and for myself. I sat in the family room and wept, begging God not to take her from me. I cried about how unfair it was that we were in this situation. Those emotions are still so fresh, and I almost hope that they stay that way. It helps me remember the humanness of us, and how fragile life is. I am trying to get over the fact that my house will not EVER look like a model home. There will always be a pile of shoes and socks by the front door, there will always be junk in the basket by the stairs to go up, and there will always be clutter in my kitchen...I just won't even go upstairs! These things are really not important, but it is the books we read at bedtime and the flowers we look at outside that are what matter. I hope I can always remember that. Good night.

Quiet is not always a good thing

As a mother of 7 children, I really relish and enjoy the quiet that rarely comes. Well, it would seem that you must actually know where everyone is and what everyone is doing to enjoy that quiet. Here was Olivia's quiet activity yesterday.














On a more serious note, my friend Christine posted about this blog. Please check it out and keep them in your prayers. Keep a box of tissue handy (thanks Olivia)! What incredible strength this family has.

My weight loss journey

I find myself frustrated with trying to lose the baby weight from 7 kids (yes, I still blame some of it on Joshua). I want to be that mom that everyone looks at and can't believe that I have seven kids - not the look of "are you nuts to have that many", but from the awesomeness of how I look! I know it is crazy, but we all have our hangups, and I still see myself that skinny girl that wore a size 5 when I got married. Now, I don't know that my goal would be a size 5 again (we can all dream), but I am definitely not pleased with where I am. I started back at Weight Watchers again in January, and have been gaining and losing about the same 7 pounds since then. I figured if I put it out there, I would have some accountability. Someone watching to see how I am doing, and maybe I could try harder to do that extra flight of stairs, or walk around the block, or not eat that chocolate bunny! I am including a tracker with my ACTUAL weight loss on it, not a fictional, made up number, but the actual amount I am losing (or not). I weigh in on Mondays with a wonderful leader. Her name is DeAnne, and you pop on over to her blog for some wonderful ideas and recipes anytime!

THEY SLEPT ALL NIGHT!

What a momentous occasion in the Rudd Household. EVERYONE slept all night. We fed the girls between 10 and midnight or so, and they woke up at 5:30 am! How wonderful is that. Of course, it won't happen tonight, but it was nice while it lasted!